Feeling like serious crap. Think I have gastro again.
Am concerned that I am building a relationship with doc in my head. He hasn’t committed to anything. He has never kissed me or implied that he wanted to. Just because we spend hours in conversation doesn’t mean he’s going to suddenly ask me to marry him.I kinda want him too though. How bizarre is that? I want doc to ask me to marry him. That’s absurd. I’ve never kissed the boy, met his parents, friends etc. How can I be thinking in this manner. My traitor’s heart whispers that no one spends that much time with someone this they want. My heart is lying to me. Get a grip.
WE ARE JUST FRIENDS. I have to remember this. FUCK IT. I gave up smoking for you.
Calm down. Friends is good – better perhaps then spending the rest of out lives together. Not that I’m bitter. Oh well, we’re spending Christmas together. Kinda sorta love him but I’ll get over it.