If one more person tells me that exercise cures depression, I will freak out. I FUCKING KNOW already, which is why I exercise when I can. It’s hard to work up to doing 40 minutes cardio when I can barely get out of bed.
I want to sleep for a thousand years maybe. Rip Van DS might be nice. People who have not been clinically depressed have no notion of what it is like. It’s a chemical imbalance in the brain people. It’s a medical condition. It’s not laziness.
It is impossible to explain when those same people have their own preconceptions.
I’m too depressed to write any more.
On the advice of my dear friend BonBon I’ve split up my meds – 50mg in the morning and 50 mg in the evening. All the online advice, advises against this but it is the single most useful idea, a medical person has come up with, because for me it actually works. I’m feeling less depressed. I can sleep and I can wake up. I haven’t had an Ambien in over a week and I’m actually well rested. I can hardly believe it.
I don’t think it is just the meds. I’m doing an engaging and exciting project at work which makes it a joy to go in in the mornings. Of course, the project means I’m working up to three hours overtime a day but I can’t resent it because now I actually enjoy my work. Things are mostly looking up.
But my dear friend Kath, is leaving and I’ll miss her terribly – more than anyone who has left before. Kath I love you and will miss you terribly x