that which must be endured

she likes to think she’s reasonable. She pokes her nose into my life without invitation. She gives stupid advice with implied critisism and gets offended when i don’t follow her suggestions. She insults me. She belittles my choices and when i argue she claims i attack her. She rages at me. Then hours later she apologises, says she’s tired or stressed and i have to comfort her. It is soul destroying.

I wish i could just cut her out of my life. She wouldn’t understand and would rally the family. There’s been too much drama already. The old man is a drunken craven fool who is a manipulative cheating bastard and likes to wheddle her case.

My sister has cut me off because i didn’t want to fake sympathy at his hospital bed. I despise him and hate her. Admittedly she tortured me as a child and he just stood back and let it happen.

If it wasn’t for my brother i’d go totally insane. He gets it. He has the same experiences as me but in his case the violence was mostly physical. She beat me too but mainly tried to destroy my self-Esteem, confidence and humanity.

But i am alive and can avoid her most of the time. That has to count for something

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