I know that friends can be careless and so I’m trying not to take what BJ said to heart. Just because he triggered me with a remark, doesn’t mean I have to never respond to him again. I’ve been mentally composing an email since my crying fit to explain to him why I am upset. I think to say “I thought you stronger than that” when a person is depressed is cruel but I know he didn’t mean to be cruel. I don’t think the middle class cis white male that he is can learn. He’s 29 and still living with his parents. Should I write the email? I don’t know.
As for Bon, she’s a nurse so she knows what depression is. She wasn’t speaking as a nurse but as a friend. Should I let the rape jokes pass just because she doesn’t condone rape? Do I have the right to correct her and does she have the right to be offended at the correction? I think I’m in the right but since apparently I appear “hostile” these days, maybe it’s better to bite my tongue and just pretend to be a shiny happy person around her. I’m sure most “friends” won’t give a damn anyway. I just thought she was someone who I could be myself around. Clearly not.
I am lost but not broken, at least yet. Fuck you BJ and Bon, fuck you very much indeed.