I’m back

Well it’s been a while since I posted because everything went down the tubes. I was severely depressed and missed six weeks of work. The saga with my parents was only the beginning. The substance of my work was causing Secondary Post Traumatic Stress and apparently I was fucked up by my motorbike accident and thinking my friend was dead. Now I’m in counselling and taking anti-depressants. So I’m a wreak and can’t help feeling that I’m weak for needing to take the drugs. Intellectually I know better, but I’ve spent most of my life being my own hero and not depending on anyone, because I’ve been so let down. My shrink says that I’ve turned off my emotions and I suspect she may be right.

So that’s me – fucked up and not fancy free. In fact this whole episode has caused me to reevaluate several friendships. That actually deserves its own post (maybe tomorrow).

I’m back now, medicated and taking a holiday to recover from my illness. The real reason is that I’m trying to get some sleep. I’m been suffering from insomnia in the last three months. I have tried every sleeping pill. I have mixed each pill with alcohol and other drugs just to find the right combination to send me to sleep. All have failed. I’m searching for sleep. It’s been ok while I’m on holidays but when I go back to Hell I just don’t know.

OK gonna catch up on my RSS feed

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